So the other day I was at a friend's place and walked in on him finishing up a solid number two and to my complete astonishment he was wiping standing up. I was absolutely blown away and immediately alerted my friend Jon to what was happening. He in turn was amazed and sent out a group text to our friends about the incident. This is where it gets weird, the reaction was completely split down the middle! Half of my friends wipe sitting and half of them wipe standing. Now this was mind blowing as I did not even know wiping standing up was a thing and apparently people that wipe standing think the same thing about sitters. My friends had no clue that sitting and wiping was even physically possible. Like there is no way on earth that a normal human can poop, finish pooping and immediately think that standing up is the next step in the clean up process. Does the poop not just head straight back up where it came from causing all sorts of disasters? And how do the standing wipers handle the automatic flushers? Just way to many factors need to be perfect in order to keep it clean down there.
The way I see it, if you wipe standing, you're also probably a pledge that knows nothing about anything.
P.S- the main advocate for wiping standing up also said that he wipes first thing in the morning to make sure that he's completely cleaned up… NEWSFLASH PSYCHO, if you sat down and wiped in the first place you wouldn't have to double check in the morning you maniac.
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