The Website Has Moved

Sorry mother fuckers, we have moved on to bigger and better. We have relocated and now our URL is http://goldensombreroblogs.com

Expect the same quality material.

With Love

Salzsquatch

Hot Jam of The Day

Sky Box: In A Dream

This jam comes courtesy of my roommate Fat Greg, he claims he found if off that app Tap Tap Revolution, either way jam city.

An Outkast Reunion Tour is The Best News You'll Hear All Day

So news came out recently that Outkast was head lining Coachella which is outstanding news, but to make my day even better they've decided to add 40 Festivals across the nation to headline throughout the year as well. Roses, Hey Ya, Sorry Ms. Jackson, The Way You Move... que a Fudge random boner. Holy shit, to see these two live would make my entire life. I'd pay any dollar amount to go to one of the 40 festivals they are performing at. Outkast, so hot right now.

P.S. by saying I'd pay any dollar amount I really mean I'd pay like $47. Same thing though right.

Dwayne Wade Does It Again...

I was wondering what was going wrong in my life the last couple weeks, and I finally just realized what is was. The Miami Heat hadn't made national news for doing something incredibly douchey in the last two weeks. Well no worries world, here it is. Dwayne Wade threw himself a birthday party on a three story yacht named "Way Of Wade" (which I'm not even sure what that fucking means). Most confusing part of this is I can't tell if I hate the matching jacket move or if I just absolutely love it.

Weird

High School Couch Picture Taking You Into The Salzsquatch Vacation

Golden picture top to bottom.

The Salzsquatch is headed to California tomorrow until Sunday night and will be MIA on the blog scene. See you bitches on Monday with Salz Bros Radio Episode 3. GO STALLIONS!

Man Murders Stepfather Via Atomic Wedgie, Because You Know, Whatever

Original Story

Nothing like a good ole' atomic wedgie to flat out massacre your family dynamic. Brad Lee Davis was just pulling a casual prank on his stepfather when he gave him a wedgie of absolutely epic proportions. Next thing you know we have a dead dude lying around with his drawers wrapped around his head. Just going to be frank here and say that Davis did nothing wrong. The real villain here is the underwear that his step dad, Denver St. Clair was wearing that enabled this to be possible. What kind of serial killer under garments is a dude wearing that can legit stretch from his gooch region to the top of his head? Still scratching my head on that one.

P.S. How sad is it that a guy with the most bad ass name of all time in Denver St. Clair dies via underwear. Parents probably thought that he'd die in a tragic encounter with a bear. This entire story is a let down for all parties involved. 

Insane Clown Posse Wants Everyone To Know Their Fans Aren't In A Gang

Original Story

The ICP has a beef with the FBI and they don't care who knows. The hardcore rap group has apparently had enough with the Bureau considering their fans as gang members and has formally sued for it. So you're telling me that a duo of dudes named Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, who consider themselves "wicked clowns", classify their music as horror rap, and have a legion of obsessive, face painting, fans called Juggalos are someone who is an authority on what can be considered a violent gang? Sounds good to me dude! I say we just let these two handle everything from now on. Hey Kim Jong Un, mind holding this briefcase full of nuclear missile launch codes? Totally have faith you're not going to use them all just simply because you told me so. These two need to be straight institutionalized and hopefully euthanized. And don't even get me started on the "Juggalos". Biggest disgrace of human life I've ever seen. New idea that can turn the Obama administration around, just nuke the next Carnival of Souls and end this debate for good. While you're at it nuke Oklahoma. Kill two birds with one stone.

Nauseous