Well it took until 7:44 central time for me to find something I felt was blog worthy, and oh my God does this qualify. "Salzsqutch, who cares about some lady munching down muffins and cardboard paper-esque breakfast sandwiches for 365 days?" is what 90% of you are asking yourself. Well first off I'm not quite sure how this broad pulled this off seeing that every Starbucks I've ever been to has maybe 8 things to eat. I guess when you're free spirited enough to live in Seattle, everything coffee related just becomes way better then the dog food the rest of us peasants enjoy by not residing in the Pacific Northwest. And don't even get me started on the fact that the woman's name is "Beautiful Existence". Yep you read that correctly. This leads me to the next question. How much acid was dropped in this household while this chick was in the womb? Parents had to be tripping straight balls for 9 months and then just pulled this name out of their asses right? May be even worse if she changed her name to this. How full of herself is Existence if she thinks that shit is going to fly? Legit reminds me of field trips to Native American museums when you had to come up with your Indian name. Fun stuff.
P.S. Beautiful Existence's resolution for 2014? Learn every sport from some national rec sports list. Imagine it'll look something like this:
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