Pope Francis Beats Out Miley Cyrus For Time's "Person Of The Year"

VS

This is the first thing I read on twitter this morning when I woke up and I started dry heaving. Travesty in its purest form. And yeah all 10 of my readers are probably saying "Salzsquatch, you're a professional smut peddler, of course you'd say this". My response is plain and simple, in this generation there is only one thing that is important, boners. So straight up I am going to ask, has Pope Francis ever given any of you boners? Nope. So shut up and accept the fact that when the word of the year is "selfie" then the person of the year has to be full of boners. 

P.S Every other person on Time's finalist list is more boner prone then the Pope:

The black and white flow on Hassan Rouhani is straight diabolical.